A STATEMENT OF ACCOUNT.
(To the Editor.)
Sir,—As I am aware of your deep sympathy for those who are ardently, though perhaps ineffectually, struggling onwards through thorny paths to the temple of Fame, I am confident that you will hail with delight the account I feel bound to lay before you of the perfect success of my first literary attempt, as detailed in the various items of the Balance Sheet which I have now the pleasure to indorse for the gratification of yourself as well as for the instruction and encouragement of your readers.
“To make both ends meet” at one’s first indulgence in so expensive a luxury as a Publisher, is a triumphant result, I am told, very rarely achieved; but when to this I can boast of superadding all that can enchant the eye and gratify the taste — the approving smiles of the softer sex, and the bland hospitalities of the men — I confess I am astounded at the ingratitude of so many of the younger votaries of the Muses, and would willingly infuse into their bosoms some portion of that enthusiasm for the speculations of literature which can never fail to animate my own. I hardly consider it necessary to mention the title of the work which has combined these results, as common conjecture will at once identify so remarkable a production; so, without further preface, I beg you to peruse the statement I enclose, in the hopes of being ably shortly to prove to you that my second attempt, like my first, will be something more substantial than a mere succes d’estime.
I remain, &c,
Philomathe De Fourchette.
St. Ortolan’s Day.
Dr. My first Literary Essay.
1859. £ s. d.
1st April To Publishers, printing 500
copies 17 5 0
„ Do. paper for do. . . ….. …. . …….. …………… … 12 2 0
,, Do. folding and sewing do. ….. . …………… . …. 2 11 0
,, Do. extra boarding 75 copies,
neat ……………………………. …………….. . ….. .. . 3 15 0
,, Do. expenses in distributing
469 copies, as presents to individuals, illustrious,
noble, eminent, learned, gallant, charming, fee.,
at Id. per head . ……………………. ………….. 1 19 1
Postage of 998 letters, in answer
to thanks and various inquiries 4 3 2
1st May Net profit, or balance, freely distributed
amongst the poor near the”Garrick” . .. 0 0 9
April and May
,, 19 additional dinners in Belgravia.
,, 11 deducted for duplicate invitations
for the same day.
,, 8 additional dinners (net) in Belgravia,
at 1 l. 11 s. 6 d.. . . 12 12 0
,, 12 do. do. in Tyburnia, at 1 l. 1 s. . …. . .. 12 12 0
„ 23 “at homes” in Mayfair, with strawberries
and cream, a la Gunter, at 3 s. 6 d.. . . . 4 0 6
„ Hints of a direct appointment for my brother
Tom, from Sir Felix McArabic (say) . . . 5 0 0
„ Promise of a naval cadetship for
my cousin Dick, from the Hon.
Bellerophon O’Rion . . 0 10 0
,, Elegant extracts from various
obliged Correspondents, as annexed:
Lively; entertaining; sensible; ingenious;
brisk; valuable; striking; it
must tell; accurate; sarcastic; clever; few
could have written it; admirable ; sound;
incontrovertible; unlike anything; amusing;
sprightly; pungent; sensible; too much
for me; debonnaire; old British principles;
playful; just what I like; vivid; original;
brilliant; easy; read it in bed; sparkling;
well-timed ; severe; interesting ; practical;
pleasant; remarkable; not ephemeral; exuberance
of imagination; we women the best judges;
humorous; witty; eloquent; when shall we see
you in the House? and why don’t you stand?
being 46 encomiastic epithets, at 1 s. 2 5 0
Stock in hand : viz., 7 tall, clean
copies, uncut, very rare, at 7s. . 2 9 0
41 16 0